Running Hiatus

It's been decided... I will be taking a short break from running.

Right now, my foot and ankle look like they've contracted a case of elephantiasis and I can't take a step more than 6" from my other foot without wanting to scream. It takes me about 3 eons to hobble around and get ready for work. And another 3 eons to walk from one classroom to the next. My achilles feels like an old rubberband about to snap and all I want right now is my mommy.

Per the doctor's recommendations, I kept my long run this past Saturday down to 13 miles, but my foot feels worse. The swelling has reached into my toes, which now look like small sausages, and the pain is simply depressing. I've been forced to rest at this point. UGH.

I can't even begin to express all of the crazy emotions going through my mind right now. I'm frustrated, wretchedly unhappy, depressed... it is SO SAD.

I haven't been getting up at 5am to train for nothing. I haven't been pushing myself to run more and more and more...for nothing. I haven't been utilizing all of my free time to run...for nothing. Unfortunately, it totally feels that way. Like this has all been for nothing.

Today, I was sitting behind a kid at work when she stood up from her chair, which totally rammed into my legs and into my knees. And not that it hurt extremely bad, but for some reason, it was like the trigger that just sent me over the edge about this injury that won't go away. I had to turn away and go back to my desk for a few minutes so that the tears rolling down my face wouldn't be seen by anyone. Sad picture, isn't it?

YES I CRIED. Go ahead...laugh.

When it comes to things that I am extremely invested in, I cry. So make fun of me all you want, you big fat robots, but at least I can admit it!!

Anyway, that's pretty much how I've been feeling these past few days. Just a little melancholy...

My options at this point are very few. Ultimately, I still intend on running this marathong. I've got less than 4 weeks left and 2 of those weeks will be rest. Maybe a little stationary biking. But mostly rest. I'm thinking that if I rest and heal, then I can run the race out of shape, but pain free. If I try and run before those 2 weeks, I might be in shape, but I'd be running the race...all 26.2 miles... in utter pain. I'd rather go with the former option.

I'm trying to stay optimistic and keep a positive attitude, but it's been really hard. At Davis, whenever I got hurt, I just went to the training room and they'd start fixing me right away. Now, I get hurt, I have to schedule a doctor's appointment, which takes a few days and they end up telling me things I already know. And even at the doctor's, they don't do anything for it. At least at Davis, they had PTs, ultrasound, ice buckets, everything to at least get the healing process started.

This whole situation is just one fatty bummer. I plan on doing everything I can to get back as quickly as possible, but staying motivated and keeping a good attitude won't be easy... We'll see how I feel in 2 weeks... 2 weeks....